How is it possibe that even when you swear to yourself at the beginnig of the friendship with person of opposite gender that nothing is going to happen, something always happens? The answer is simple: We're just humans.
Ok, for me it's not enough. Why it never works out?
Because of attraction? Passion? What is it?
Four years ago, I saw an interesting video made by University of Utah which followed this problem. It was some kind of a research among university students.(video.) My point is that in this video, there was a big difference between girls and boys answers. Guess what was the difference... Who said that it is possible and who said it's not? Yeah, you're right. Mainly girls were sure about the possibility of being just friends with a boy and boys thought the opposite.
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| source:http://www.justinstum.com/blog/5-signs-of-a-healthy-couple-relationship/ |
Maybe the question that should have been asked is not if it's possible to stay just friends, but what are both sides true intentions at the beggining of the friendship. There are many ways how to fall into this kind of relationship. Let's talk about them and maybe it will bring us closer to this mystery.
1. Friends since chilhood.
It's quite a common thing, isn't it? For sure you have or had a friend from chilhood with whom you shared secrets and had lots of fun. Very often it turns against you. You fall in love and you are friendzoned because you don't want to be brokenhearted or lose someone you love, so you keep on pretending friendship. In adulthood you remember that but it doesn't count because you were children. So you lie to yourself that now, when you are grown up, you see into these things better and you can control your emotions and keep the friendship going well. It's not going to work.
2. The second caterogy I am going to describe is 'schoolmates, collegues and friends of yours friends.'
Don't roll your eyes! What a great feeling to share similar thoughts or have fun with someone new... I know, I know...You get closer and closer, you start to spend time together, text all the time and things like this. Your first intention shouldn't be to fall in love but it can happen very fast! I'll tell you when. At that moment when you start telling yourself: 'He/She is just a friend, nothing more.' And here we go. Trouble.
3. Can your Ex be your friend?
'I don't love you anymore but can we stay friends?' No, darling we can't!
Don't give me that look, I am going to explain.When you split up with someone you loved it's so complicated and full of doubts - like how do you really feel about that person even after some years. Complicated.
Maybe you think I ruined every possibility of being 'just friends.' I didn't. So in what case you can stay 'just friends'?
It happens only sometimes and there are only two ways how it happens:
The first one - if there is no attraction . No, chemistry, no real love - I don't mean it like if he or she is your type. No, it's about chemistry. Simply - chemistry is a part of love. (Of course you can love him or her for his or her soul).
The second one - keep the reasonable distance. It works. Particularly when he or she is in a relationship, you take responsiblity for your behviour, as not to provocate or hurt them, and hurt yourself in the process.
We often push things and act really stupid even when we are realazing it. Don't do that.
So what is the answer? Does friendship between man and woman exist?
I think the answer is yes. Unfortunately you never know how long it will last. It is one of the most wonderful things in the world. These kinds of friendships can last for years or end up after one month. There is no way of protecting yourself. But there is one thing you can do and it's the same in all kinds of relationships: always be honest with yourself and you will be happier than you might have evert thought.
